Unfair Treatment of Homeschooler

Ok, now I am getting on my soapbox . . . If you follow DD and I on acupofteawithmomandme.blogspot.com , you know that she was invited to the Homecoming Dance by a boy in her confirmation class at church. Her father and I, after much deliberation, agreed that she could go and DD and I ran out and bought her a dress (frankly, I spent money that I really did not have to spend, but we all do what we can for our kids). Well, today we received a call from the principal of the school who wanted to confirm that DD was “enrolled in a High School” and get emergency phone numbers. As a conscientious parent, I called the principal back - - - this was mistake number one. We have now talked to the principal twice and the vice principal once and they have decided that DD cannot attend homecoming. Their stance is that DD is 13 and therefore would be considered a middle school student and ineligible to attend. I tried to argue that as a homeschooler there is no real “grade”. They also said that the boy should have known better. I replied by asking why he should have known better since he and DD go to 9th grade confirmation together. I also argued that there were going to be 13 year olds at the dance i.e. the kids with November and December birthdays. The vice principal tried to tell me that that was not true, but my children were in this district and my son has a November birthday and would be in 7th grade, therefore I know there are others. They then added to the “policy” saying that if there were students that were 13 AND enrolled at the high school then they would be exempt and allowed to come, but as DD was not enrolled she would not be allowed. I asked how they would deal with a child who skipped a grade and noted that we were arguing over barely a month and a half of time as DD birthday is in February. I’m sure you can imagine the response “policy is policy”. You know if they allowed one student then there would be a torrent of homeschooled 13 year olds that might want to come to the dances. I felt so badly for my DD and for her date. Of course, before I got off the phone I made sure to tell him what I thought (I’m sure he could care less), but I pointed out that it was this kind of inflexibility that made us choose homeschooling in the first place. Public schools have a very difficult time looking at issues on a one by one case. Futhermore, while my DD does not attend this district, we do live in this distict and have paid for these schools for twelve years and received nothing in return for the last five. We haven’t balked the system or asked for anything for our kids, I was only asking for her right to go to the dance. And that although I knew he did not have children that I hoped he would think back to this decision one day when he had a 13 year old daughter.

Of course my husband and DD has to see the principal next week at an Eagle Scout award ceremony, I said that my DD and husband should make a point of going over to introduce themselves. And as for the school’s request for help in fundraising, I think we’ll be skipping that!

P.S. I thought this one would send my DD over the edge. I’m sure at her age I would have flopped on the bed, slammed the door, and cried and cried. She, however, took it like a trooper. At least she got a beautiful holiday dress out of the deal.