The Romance of School to Homeschoolers

Interestingly, when we pulled the kid’s from school 5 years ago, I found that my DD started to romanticize school. It is kind of like when you talk about an old boyfriend. When you tell someone about him years later, instead of talking about all the horrible things that caused you to break up with him, you espouse wonderful dates, his handsome stature, and other romantic details. This is what DD did with school. I was convinced about this when she told me that she even missed lunch. She used to hate lunch. She never had time to eat. The cafeteria would echo horribly and she would complain about headaches almost daily. This romanticism continues to today. She would now be in 8th grade and is blissfully thinking of hanging with her friends and leisurely going from class to class. She thinks of middle school like she experienced 1st & 2nd grade. She has never tried to get to a class in a three minute break. She has never been forced to sit in a class with a horrible teacher. She has never been lost or confused on a subject and begged for help, trying to learn a subject before a test that accounted for 50% of her grade. Sometimes I wish I could put her in school for two weeks so that she could see what the requirements really are, see how teacher’s deal with late assignments, and see how much of her day would be eaten up in meaningless requirements. I think part of this romanticism comes from peer pressure and part from the media. School is seen as the hub of all social activity; sometimes overtly like in Saved by the Bell or the Secret Life of the American Teenager, and sometimes covertly like in Teen Vogue pictures with lockers in the background.

I have heard from some people that have never put their children in school that their children often romanticize the school bus. The kids have never been on the bus so they don’t understand the long rides, the lack of a/c, or the bullying, but instead they see the pretty yellow bus taking kids to an exciting new adventure. The yellow bus is embedded in all of their children’s shows as this wonderful doorway to excitement, knowledge, and a rite of passage. Think of the Magic School Bus.

It is certainly easy to understand why they think so fondly of an ingrained institution: They hear about the great things, but have never experienced the bad. It is a little harder to figure out how to clear their rose colored glasses without getting them caught up in the system, which is not all that they believe it to be. Of course on the other hand, I have DS who would be ok if he never walks into a school again. Even in his short time in school, Kindergarten and 1st grade, he experienced the "bad" of school and he never wants to experience it again.