The Frustration of Thinking Differently

Oh, my goodness. How do you teach a child whose mind works so much differently than yours? Sometimes when he is thinking, I wish I could take a magnifying glass and see what is going on in there. His mind works with such different gears than anything I’ve ever seen. It frustrates me to no end, but is also holds endless fascination for me. Ever since he was little he sees things that the rest of us don’t. If he shares his thoughts, then “aha!” we cry as we view for just an instant what he sees all the time.

I should have known how frustrating this would be way back when I tried to show him the idea of subtraction using grid paper. I tried to adapt to his visualization by using manipulatives. I cut out the number of squares in a long series to represent the first number, cut out another line of blocks to represent the other, and then place them one atop the other to show the difference between the two (like Cuisenaire rods). We would then cut the longer one so that the two rods were the same length and then count up the number of boxes in the cut off piece and there was the answer along with a visual representation of difference. But no, he had some way that he knew how to work it. He had no interest in looking at it the traditional way. I cannot even begin to show you his process because I still don’t understand it.

Today is this same battle just with a different part of math. He is working on division. The book has recommended that he round the divisor so that he can best begin to estimate his answer. Of course that just helps you to come up with a guess. You still have to multiply by the divisor and subtract, but he thinks it’s easier to multiply his guess by the approximation he used, calculate the difference between the approximation and the real divisor, multiply that by the guessed number, and then add or subtract as necessary to come up with the remainder. Gee, I wonder why he is frustrated . . .that is an awful lot to keep in your brain. I can’t seem to get him to understand that writing down the process of math is not cheating. I tried to show him that while this strategy may work with 628 / 23, it would be very difficult when we got to 6457 / 432 and that we were really focusing on the process of division not necessarily just the product (or in this case quotient). No, he insists that his way is better. After watching him struggle, I finally insisted that he did it the proper way and he completed the entire set of problems in just a couple of minutes. Of course I will admit that the most frustrating part is when he gets it right with his way of thinking and his explanation, while it may be the longest possible way to come to a solution, is correct.

Of course to compound the issue, he has to think – outloud. Now I don’t mean adding or subtracting outload. He has to hum or bang his pen or play with the walkie-talkies. He has to think with noise while I’m trying to type and the repetitious noise makes my brain want to explode. While I think silence does the same to his. He doesn’t like others to make noise, but he can sing an opera as he solves his problems. It is funny how we all have our different styles of learning. Clearly ours don’t line up that well. But on the otherhand, I cannot imagine what would happen to this child in public school.


“Genius . . . is the capacity to see ten things where the ordinary man sees one.” -Ezra Pound

Wake-up - It's Schooltime!

I tried to get Jacob back on track today after a week of camp. We got down to our math lessons and then he asked for a break. Zonk, he was out. I originally said we would take a half an hour break, but 2 ½ hours later, I had to wake him up so that I could go pick up his sister at theater camp. When I looked at his sleeping face, I remembered my pediatricians voice, “Let a sleeping child lay.” This freedom in schedule has definitely been one of the benefits of homeschooling.

Back when we were in school, I remember when Jacob started kindergarten. My daughter had been gung-ho, but I knew for him it would be a different story. Sure enough, even a half day of Kindergarten was too much (I cringe when I even think about full day Kindergarten. The parents may be ready, but most children are not.). Often when he came home on the bus, the bus driver would have to wake him up so that he could get off.

Now our life is set by the rhythm of our lives and not of the artificial school bus. I don’t think anyone appreciates the later morning schedule more than I. I don’t mind getting up, but I sure am not ready to put my best foot forward at 7 am. However, I am happy to read together at 10:00pm.

The other benefit of this schedule is that they can bend around their father’s schedule. My husband travels frequently and often has late night meetings. The kids miss him. So if our regular schedule prohibits them spending time together, we just change it. Homeschooling has definitely allowed for a better relationship between the kids and their father.

A schedule should meet your needs. You should not be a slave to your schedule.

What benefits have you found from homeschooling? How has homeschooling benefitted your family schedule?

Homeschooling - A Journey for the Whole Family

One of the great things about homeschooling is that it is not just how you educate the kids. It is a lifestyle for the whole family. Learning becomes a way of life for the family. The parents don’t always teach and the children aren’t always recipient of learning. It is a joint effort: A path that the whole family takes.

Today, for example, was a day for my son to do the teaching. During his time at Boy Scout camp, Jacob learned how to fly fish. Yesterday, he and my husband went to buy him a fly fishing starter kit with a gift card that my son had received. Jacob practiced his casting for a bit and then my husband wanted to try so Jacob started teaching him. It was a great sight to see, the two of them working together. We had planned on going for just an half an hour, but ended up there for two or more. It was peaceful and quiet. We had time to just chat.









When Jacob gave up the rod to George, Jacob warned him not to flick his wrist and crack the line. Jacob did a wonderful job showing how to move the rod with his full upper arm. George tried, but Jacob had to remind him again. No sooner was the warning out of his mouth, then crack, crack, the fly was gone. Jacob helped his father tie on a new one.




It was a wonderful day of learning and a successful day at that, the men caught two fish. I figure later in the week, I will take him to a stream to practice more.

It May Just Be the Book

My son is a very reluctant 11 year old reader. I continue to read to him. I encourage him to read aloud to me. However, even the word, “reading” throws him into fits. He will do almost anything in his power to avoid reading. He is very frustrated reader, but I don’t think he realizes how far he has come. He will tell you that he is not a reader because he cannot read every word that he comes across. My argument of course is the opposite; since he can read most of the words he comes across, he is a reader.

Lately though, he has diverged from his normal aversion to reading. He has actually been calling in books from the library. He has come by a series by Edge Books. The book titles include: Bowhunting, Camping, Canoeing, Deer Hunting, Duck Hunting, Fly Fishing, Freshwater Fishing, Hiking, Ice Fishing, Pheasant Hunting, Saltwater Fishing, and Snowmobiling. These titles are right up his alley. The series is only written on a 3rd –4th grade reading level, but he is reading on his own and enjoying it enough to request more. The books are not too long and therefore do not intimidate him. The subject matter touches on his “manly” passions and interests. The print is large and easily readable. It is broken up into reasonable chunks. These books are wonderful. I hope they write more.

Does anyone have other recommendations for reluctant readers? Especially boys?

Quotations I hope my son never finds about reading (notice they are all written by men):

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.
Sir Arthur Helps

Reading musses up my mind.
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

What we call education and culture is for the most part nothing but the substitution of reading for experience, of literature for life, of the obsolete fictitious for the contemporary real.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

The Nautilus of learning

Learning is not a linear operation. It is not like a book that you should begin on page one and follow through to the end. It is like a grape cluster. Does it matter which one you eat first? Actually, I visualize learning like a nautilus shell. We are first introduced to something new. Perhaps we learn the first few facts. Then we may go away and learn and do other things. Inevitably though, the idea comes back and we learn more. We continue in this pattern over and over, building on what we knew and acquiring more. This pattern actually makes the learning more memorable and relevant. The newly acquired information forces you to reenter all the previous chambers that you have built up. Each chamber relies on the one before and sets precedence for the one to come.

Consider this as you plan your lessons for your children. Be willing to do things “out of order”. It is ok not to understand things 100% the first time. As you build your shell, other encounters will help you better understand the information that you have already amassed. Perhaps it will be the not understanding of something that truly interests you that causes you to go back and learn about it, like a young lad who sees the rocketship streak across the sky and then chooses to study aeronautics, physics, engineering so that someday he can make one fly.

Like a beach our minds can be full of shells. Each at a different point of development. Some stacking one atop another. All waiting for us to pick them up.

Summerhill

One of the most interesting books related to alternative learning is Summerhill. I encourage you to read it. You may not agree with all the ideas in the book, but it will open your mind to a new concept in learning. This is especially important for parents considering homeschooling that have never experienced alternative educational ideas. If you do not start to stretch your mind to the possibilities in learning, you will find that you just repeat traditional schooling methods at home.

Some of you may find the premises of Summerhill appalling or too permisive, but you will be impressed by the results. Summerhill is an actual school that still exists today in England. Students, age 5 -18, have been attending this school since 1921. It was founded by A.S. Neill on the premise that children are autonomous units and as so deserve respect and rights. Neither the state nor parents should oversee a child’s learning. A child should be responsible for their own education both in direction and content. While as a homeschooling family, your goal may not be this radical, some of A.S. Neill’s may cause you to think differently about education and thereby how you plan to shape your day.

This is a book which you may wish to purchase, because I will bet that you will dog ear the pages and highlight passages. You will put it down in disgust, but return to it to review the ideas that it presents.

“I would rather Summerhill produce a happy street sweeper rather than a neurotic Prime Minister.” A.S. Neill
Let us know what you think of Summerhill. Would you send your child there? What ideas might you implement from this school into your own life?

Do You Homeschool Through the Summer?

The most common question that I get at this time of the year is “Do you homeschool throughout the summer?” The answer is that we homeschool throughout the year. First, I’m a little hazy on exactly the difference between homeschooling and living. Secondly, as I do know what they mean (Do you do “school” work?), by spreading the work out through the year, I don’t have to worry about how much we get done every day. I look at it as a simple division problem. Even if I give schools the benefit of the doubt and calculate using a 6 hour day of learning (please note that some people calculate it as low as 2 hours per day),

6 x180 =1080 hours per school year;
1080 / 365 days per year =2.96 hour per day.

Yes, before you ask, we school through the weekends too. Don’t think that I am a slave driver, because I am nowhere near that. Actually, it is exactly the opposite, by doing a little every day, we can be more relaxed and worry less about if we’ve done enough.

Little Extra:
Today I overheard a prep teacher working with a student at the library. They were discussing Latin and English vocabulary. The teacher was recommending that the boy start keeping flash card on new vocabulary words. Now I understand this when learning a foreign language, but English. How about just integrate the new words into your everyday conversations? Truthfully if you have to refer to a flash card to remember a word in your native language then perhaps it is not a very useful word.